First I shall make it known that I am about as faithful to this blog as a hot wife is to her dying husband. Trust me, I recognize my faults and I have no excuse... except for that whenever I get free time I would rather watch Criminal Minds on DVD than actually do anything else. Don't let me give you the impression that I am super busy, my unemployed ass is just lazy and I have no problem acknowledging it.
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| The family I will never have |
Now this post is part of a series that I shall call "Why I Suck At First Impressions" simply because my whole entire life I have never made a good first impression. I am often a mumbling fool, vomiting, shaking at the knees, am dressed far to inappropriately for the situation or I have some idea of a really cool line that I just blurt out and realize after how uncool it really was. So this series will document some of my most memorable first impressions.
The first one I want to talk about was one of the most memorable first impressions I think I've ever made. It was the night I met one of my best friends and roommate.
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| Yeah I do! |
Now this was after I just had been kicked in the face by a horrible break up. The kind of break up that causes you to sink into a dark depression where drinking copious amounts of hard liquor seems like the only light in your day, you wear the same clothes for days on end and only eat cheetos you find stuffed in between your couch cushions. Now for many of you that might be your daily life, but for the rest of us this usually only happens in certain situations.
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| Pretty much how I look after a break-up |
One night a friend of mine invited me to go out with him and a friend of his to a local pub. Of course I was totally down for that as long as alcoholic beverages were included. Now if I hadn't made it clear already I really like to not eat before I drink. I think it's because I have a hero complex, as in I am totally convinced that I can survive a night of drinking without eating anything. And yet I'm always able to prove myself wrong.
Anyways, my friend and I got on the bus and were ready to meet my friend downtown. We got there early and decided on what they called their "raspberry ale". It has a higher alcohol percentage than it's non-fruity cousin. Already setting myself up for success. My friend and my future roomie arrived just as the drinks did. Well at first I hardly said a word, as in I was dead quiet. My friend and future roomie hit off like they had been long lost buds and I was the weird awkward girl...which really isn't a big stretch from the way I actually am. So the night carried on and I drank what I can remember as 2 raspberry ales. Then we decided we should head back to my guy friends place because there was going to be a party going on.
We arrived and the "party" was kind of already under way. We all started drinking and I think I at first ended up with a orange juice and rum. It went down not very smoothly. So to help matters I started getting random additions to my drink, mostly beer but then it started to taste really good.
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| some combination of these were in my drink |
To make a long story short...I got super drunk. Yet there was a moment in the night in which I knew my roomie and I could build a possible friendship. I remember, and this moment was the only one I clearly remembered after the party, when I watched her pick up a pen with her toes. My mind was blown.
After this moment I only remember bits and pieces. So what I'm telling you now is based on what I heard from my friends and the vague bits of my night that I remember.
So, I remember leaving the house, and heading towards a bus stop. Here is where things really got fuzzy. I remember getting to the bus stop, but then I guess I decided on some acrobatics to liven up the party. I tried to climb my way up a street sign pole and mostly just accomplished ripping my pants. Then I guess from there we jumped on a bus. I have no idea where we were planning on going. Nor really where I was. So therefore lets just assume that something happened in here. I cannot tell you what.
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| This statement is truth |
Anywho, I was only half aware of what happened next. I remember having a conversation with a roommate of my friend who had originally invited me out. I don't remember what about. But according to sources I seemed perfectly fine. Then, I was sitting across from my future roomie and she said all of sudden I stopped moving. I looked her dead in the eyes and then all of a sudden I leaned forward and vomited all over the bus floor. Yes, I actually vomited on public transit. Don't judge me.
Then I blacked out. All of a sudden I woke up and was sitting on the street with a bottle of water being poured into my mouth by this girl I had literally just met that night (future roommate). I guess she was the only one who I would accept a drink from. Then all of a sudden I leaned over and vomited again. Then I blacked out. I didn't see her again until the next week.
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| I imagine I looked like this |
Yeah...first impressions. I know how to do it right.
Lesson:
When trying to impress people and make friends it's probably a good idea to not vomit in public places where they are then responsible for looking after you.
